Aanshi Shah Week #14 - Learning that life's not fair
Life isn’t fair. Yet, as kids, we’re usually taught that our world is black and white, that good will always win and that justice is always served. We learned that everything was equal, and that everyone is treated the same. I absolutely loved this notion when I was younger, so that image shattering was a monumental shift in my beliefs.
I learned how unfair life was when I was four. In preschool, there was this guy who I hated, and he hated me. We never really did anything to each other before this memory, but he hated me because I would hog the entire sandbox, which in retrospect, probably taught him about how unfair life could be, since I was taking up a space meant for everyone.
However, one day, the teacher split the class into two parts, with me on one side and him on the other. I misheard my teacher and walked over to the wrong side, where he was. When he saw me, he got really mad and punched me in the eye. My eye hurt a lot for a few moments, and in the time it took for me to stop clenching my face in pain, the teacher had come over. I remember, very vividly, that the moment I stopped holding my face, I lunged - practically jumped - forward, trying to punch him in retaliation. In my preschool mind, if he punched me, he deserved to be punched back, since I still believed in absolute fairness back then. Instead, the teacher held me back, preventing me from doing anything. To make matters worse, she made me skip recess to hold an ice pack on my face. In retrospect, obviously she would keep an eye on me after that, but at that time, I was seething, watching that kid play in the sandbox that I usually dominated and having fun while I was being punished for being punched by that very kid.
I wasn’t ready to let go of my childish worldview. I had learned that the world wasn’t fair, and that experience opened my eyes, so I decided to make it fair. From that day on, I resolved to become a permanent thorn in his side. Punching me wasn’t the only thing he did, there’s a whole list, including hiding my backpack and making me look for it. During nap time, we had our mattresses next to each other, so I would sing, with the intention of sounding terrible, just to keep him from sleeping. Any time he had anything, such as a pencil, marker, or eraser, I would steal it and give it to other people. I even deliberately stole his best friend, joining forces with him.
The main lesson from all of this is how memories can serve as important milestones in our lives. For me, learning that nothing was fair allowed me to take more control over my circumstances, even if at first, that meant engaging in a petty war with some kid.
.jpg)
Hey, Aanshi! I really enjoyed your blog this week on the harsh reality that life is indeed not fair. I liked how you included specific anecdotes from your childhood to bring a personal perspective to this topic. I chuckled a little bit as it reminded me of just how trivial preschool drama really is. I’ve never heard of a preschool rivalry quite this intense, however!
ReplyDeleteOne particular detail of your blog that I truly enjoyed was the depth with which you examined this childhood event. What could have been a passing mention turned into a comprehensive story, one with many twists and turns along the way. I appreciate that you added your overall takeaways at the end, and I do agree that memories can serve as markers of important events in our lives.
Overall, I thought your blog was very well-written and I look forward to seeing what you write next week!
Hi Aanshi!
ReplyDeleteI distinctly remember that, as a kid, I would grow bored of superhero and action movies in general. What was the point of playing out the drama if it was always the hero who came out on top?
Regardless, thank you for sharing your preschool story! I only have a hazy memory of my own experiences, but it seems that yours were quite action-packed. I feel that your experience serves as a broader representation of society in general—specifically in our development and societal influences. While we are brought up by idealized concepts like the ones you mentioned, sooner or later, the harsh reality sets in.
I do hope that you were eventually able to reconcile with your nemesis. If not, I wonder if there’s a sequel to this feud that you’d be willing to share.
Hi Aanshi! I completely agree that life is not fair, and we all have that one or multiple memories of a certain event that has proved that. I clearly recall the day that I was trying to be a stellar student in my kindergarten class, hoping I would get a gold star that day. I was attentive, led my group mates on my table to get the right math answer to (5 x 7)/3, and I volunteered to read out loud for the book we were reading in class. Now, you would think I would have obtained that gold star, but I did not. One boy in my class, who had just set up the tables for art time, acquired that gold star instead of me. That was definitely the moment I realized how life was unfair and quite hurtful too. I find it quite comical how we both have such vivid memories ingrained in our minds about the one classmate who proved this lesson to us about how life is unfair. I also agree that children are taught to believe that everyone is treated equally, but unfortunately, it is not. Your fight with this particular boy was definitely aggressive, especially since you were so young but very understandable too.
ReplyDelete